‘Don’t open your mouth ‘till you’ve seen this DVD’ boasts the cover. You might also want to add, ‘Don’t open the box until you’ve read this review’.
Self-styled ‘Queen Of Scream’ Melissa Cross is a sincere enough lady. Whether she’s talking about taking a dump or singing over the pencil, this feisty, flame-haired rock siren really does have your best interests at heart. You see; there’s a way to scream and a way not to scream and this hansom DVD/CD combination pack offers a comprehensive and accessible 2 hours or so of instruction on HOW to scream without shredding your vocal chords; handy if you’re trying to order a take-out on the phone directly after a gig and want to get exactly what you ordered and without being accused of making nuisance phone calls. The layout is simple enough; a series of easy to follow lessons and step by step exercises. And the whole thing is ably supported by a charismatic cast featuring Andrew W.K, Lamb of God’s D. Randall Blythe, Shadows Fall’s Brian Fair, Every Time I Die’s Keith Buckley, God Forbid’s Byron Davis and erudite pleasure-puss, Melissa Auf der Maur; each offering candid interviews and moments of true perspiration. Also included is an Audio CD & Booklet with a clearly itemized vocal training program for each range covered by Melissa.
For those hoping for a salacious and titillating rock documentary, this may be something you wish to avoid. But for those looking for some kind of pain relief, musical enlightenment, tool maintenance, something surreal and ever so slightly absurd, then grab one for yourself and as well for your croaky old band mates.
Who needs Strepsils when you’ve got Melissa?