My favourite Christmas? My favourite Christmas came when I was six years old and was told there was no such person as Father Christmas. Imagine the unbridled joy I experienced in discovering that I would no longer have to endure the arrival of a brandy-swilling intruder into my bedroom at 4.00 o’ clock in the morning for the simple reward of a few puzzles I couldn’t solve, an annual I couldn’t read and a sockful of nuts that I was allergic to; not compensation enough in my book for a full year of mental anguish as I prepared for his inevitable return that winter. If on the otherhand he’d have brought with him a pair of knickers bearing the autographs of Lena Zavaroni or Marie Osmond respectively or a concealable firearm by which to dispose of the school bully, I would have been able to tolerate his feted arrival for at least another 12 months. Today, however, I would have settled for this. 12 tracks of gently alternative yuletide tyranny from the likes of Royskopp, Bent, I Am Kloot, The Girls, Diefenbach, The Bees, the Fakesensations, Mother and The Addicts and Paul Steel. Five years worth of special (and now deleted) ‘We Love You’ 7” releases brought together for one final stab at the Christmas No.1. And whilst this may be as likely as snow on top of the London met office this December 25th, at least we’ll have fun watching it fall far short.
Love it for the smoochy retro loveliness of Remington Super 60’s’Christmas Song For Mel’ (featuring Barney Rubble) or love it for Shawn Lee‘s no nonsense ‘I’ll Be Fucking You This Christmas’. But love it do, whatever you do.