At time of writing I’m reminded me the line from ‘Eleanor Rigby’ (sung and rehashed for the sake of this album by souly Merseybeat combo, The Real Thing):
”Just Who Is It For?”
And I sit here repeating it to myself in the hope the answer suddenly erupts in a shower of clarity, dispelling the mists of doubt in my mind about why, when and how this album ever got made in the first place. Is it a Beatles covers album? No not really, but it does have no shortage floppy mop-top hits sung by a fairly bizarre and eclectic mix of celebrated (and not so celebrated) Scousers including The Real People (‘Hey Jude’), Eton Road (‘From Me To You’), Sonia (‘She Loves You’), Shack (‘Day Tripper’) and Digsy and the Sums (‘Paperback Writer’). It’s the historical equivalent of setting light to the Cutty Sark or pumping five dumdum bullets into the Beatles’ back-catalogue, each one of them exploding on impact, the first of them taking out the early years, and the last of them tearing apart the serious beardy ones. The only really thing shielding them are Sonny J’s scuzzy, bonkers rag-jam take on ‘Hard Days Night’ and the Real Things ‘Eleanor Rigby’ (minus the poorly coordinated tub thumping and social conscience shenanigans during the intro – its heart is in the right place but it sounds crap). And then we have the Beatles-related odds and sods: The Icicle Work’s surly and cantankerous Ian McNabb crooning earnestly over a fairly pedestrian, Stars in Their Eyes cover of the already mortally wounded, ‘Woman’ and a thoroughly imagine-less reimagining of the cranky Scouse Bard’s ‘Imagine’ from The Talkabouts. And finally we have things that are not really The Beatles at all but kind of stuffed in all the same: Thomas Lang doing ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ Atomic Kitten tossing off Cilla’s ‘Anyone Who Had A Heart’ (surprise, surprise) and Anthony Hannah giving it some on super-boss Frankie’s ‘Relax’.
In many respects it’s an end of the pier show from a collection of artists who are looking more earnestly for a resurrection miracle than a tombful of Jewish prophets, and given that not even Scaffold can raise our spirits, Frankie’s ‘Nasher’ doesn’t stand a cat in hell’s chance.
It’s not all bad by anymeans. China Crisis provide a perfectly charming if goofy take on Michael Holliday’s candyliscious, ‘Starry Eyed’. It’s awkward, its ungainly, its saccharine sweet but somehow in the context of a bunch of old scousers coming together for a good cause with little more than ten-minutes preparation, it works.
Just who is it for? For charity – that’s who its for. Sponsored by Liverpool Echo and Radio Merseyside in association with Bacardi, The Number One Project heroically supports a range of Liverpool charities including Liverpool Echo Sunrise Appeal, Marina Dalglish Appeal, Alder Heys Children’s Hospital, Radio City’s Give A Child A Chance and the Marie Currie Liverpool Hospice Appeal and – providing the Fabs are wearing Full Metal Jackets – it’s a hugely enjoyable and fun rummage through the Merseybeat archives that’s no harm to anyone.
Come because you feel morally obliged – stay for the likes of Thea Gilmore remodelling Dead Or Alive’s ‘You Spin Me Right Round’ and making it sound bloody fantastic in the process.
THE NUMBER ONES ALBUM – Released: 04.02.08